The Bathhouse of Uranus
Synopsis: First episode of a television series about a woman who travels all over the universe and the strange experiences she encounters.
Excerpt:
PRETTY ALIEN: Greetings Nancy. We are the aliens of Uranus. We know you better than you think. We know everything about you. We know that you lied about your spirit animal being a horse. We know that your spirit animal really is a chimpanzee. Don’t lie, Nancy. It makes you look older than you really are.
(Close-up shot of NANCY’s face.)
NANCY: But, I like horses.
(Medium shot of the PRETTY ALIEN.)
PRETTY ALIEN: We don’t care. You’re on our territory now so you must do as we say.
(Wide shot of the ALIENS as they walk toward NANCY. Medium shot of the ALIENS surrounding NANCY. They take her swim gear off, except for the bathing suit. Close-up shot of the PRETTY ALIEN.)
PRETTY ALIEN: Your complexion is looking rather dull, Nancy. Come with me. I have just the remedy.
(Medium panning shot of the PRETTY ALIEN leading NANCY to a throne-like seat. Medium shot of NANCY sitting down on the seat. Close-up shot of NANCY’s face as the PRETTY ALIEN proceeds to apply a poop-like goo to it. Medium shot of NANCY surrounded by ALIENS, who do various things to her body. One ALIEN begins to separate her toes with hard brown pieces. Another alien presents a glass with a yellow liquid and a very long straw. Close-up shot of the ALIEN holding the glass of yellow liquid.)
ALIEN: Drink this. It will clear your intestines and make you feel good.
(Close-up shot of NANCY as she drinks, gagging at a very salty taste. The more she drinks, the more drunk she becomes. Close-up shot of another ALIEN attaching some kind of long greenish-brown apparatuses to her hair. Wide shot of NANCY surrounded by the aliens. She has been transformed into a brown poop goddess.)
NANCY: I really should probably be going now…
(Medium shot of the PRETTY ALIEN.)
PRETTY ALIEN: You cannot leave. You still have to go through the initiation. You are almost ready. Just one more thing.
(Medium shot of NANCY’s bathing suit being cut off, she is naked but her private parts are quickly covered by more brown goo. Close-up shots of brown goo being smeared all over NANCY’s body. Wide shot of the ALIENS strapping a hairy bikini-like outfit onto her. When finished, the ALIENS take her out of the throne and usher her to the center of the bathhouse. Wide panning shot of the ALIENS leading NANCY to a small floating stage in the center of one pool. Medium shot of NANCY standing on the stage as the spotlights turn on. Wide shot of a band of ALIEN musicians to NANCY’s left. They are tuning their instruments. Close-up shot of an ALIEN handing NANCY a microphone and an alien version of the iPad. Close-up shot of the iPad, which reads the karaoke title “Hotel California.”)
(Close-up shot of NANCY’s face.)
NANCY: But I’m not from California.
(Close-up shot of the PRETTY ALIEN’S face.)
PRETTY ALIEN: In our eyes, everyone is from California.